All sorts of "creative" punishments can often end up punishing others unintentionally. For EXAMPLE (substitute special trip being taken away, grounding where a parent/parents have to cancel a night out together to make sure jr minds his grounding. Etc, etc, etc...) , Jr misbehaves and is told, "you can't go out for ice cream with us today". This punished grandma because she doesn't get to share ice cream with jr, since, you know, consistency in punishment and all... When a short, swift spank or two to the bottom, gets jr's attention, brings him back around to behaving, and 10 minutes later, everyone is on their way to an ice cream, happy as pie. Done, over. Life moves forward. Lesson learned.
Fact is, as I've said already, life isn't all soft falls on pillows. It can be unforgiving and painful. A few spankings when they're young, along with proper teaching and enlightenment, will result in teenagers who dont need to be spanked, or disciplined much, for that matter. I never did, once they hit puberty.
I am in agreement with you all, in reference to taking the time to teach why something is wrong, and why we don't do it. What happens if we do, is the utmost importance, but frankly, I dont believe any if you have had a precocious boy, insist on running out into the street, even after you've told him not to and explained why its dangerous and unacceptable.
Yes, I learned from spankings. No, I dont resent my parents for it. I was taught lessons in other ways, but the appropriate spanking drove home a point, in a quick manner, when needed. If I insist on doing something I'm told not to, there's gonna be a consequence that hurts. I don't want that. Guess I'll stop. Sure I was mad at my father for a few minutes, maybe. But we moved on. He didn't dwell on it and neither did I. I'm not a stunted human being because of it, and I don't whine about my childhood and let it hold me back, or blame my parents for my problems. Yes my parents weren't perfect, and neither was my childhood. But neither is life. Get over it and move on.
Frankly cofty, your solutions are virtuistic, but not always realistic. I agree, if all you do is yell and spank, its lazy parenting. But spanking is not lazy when it is necessary, and accompanied by conversation outlining the wrong and the correct action.
I'm still waiting to hear, those of you who are condemning spanking, were you spanked as a child; severity if the spanking. Was it beating? And how many children have you raised, without spanking, to adulthood?
For the record, I'm not saying its impossible. Again, different personalities and demeanors in children and parents, create different dynamics and scenarios. Maybe you're the perfect parent with an almost perfect child. Congratulations. Trust me, we aren't all like that...
And since we're on the subject of discipline, what about sending them to bed without supper? Not letting them use hot water when they shower? Washing their mouth out with soap? Biting a toddler who's going through a biting faze? Making a kid who is caught smoking, chain smoke cigarettes til they get sick? (For the record, these are all disciplines I never used, because i don't find them acceptable, but were either used on me, or friends I know)
Obviously, discipline is a sticky subject. Ultimately I would never tolerate a parent being physically abusive to a child, but if your kid is in my presence, I expect him or her to behave. Whatever you gotta do to make it happen, do it. The world will be a better place for it, especially when they become adults.